Christianity needs to shed its age old male dominated Orthodoxy to stay relevant

The Church has crossed all boundaries of blasphemy with the recent revelations about the string of sexual abuse cases in Kerala. I am writing “The Church” to represent all churches in India and across the globe. Accusations of sexual abuse from inside the hallowed walls of the Church have been flying thick and fast from across the world in recent times. I am not a Christian but I have very good friends who are Christians and I do not intend to hurt their religious sentiments in any way with this article.
I had come across an article sometime back stating that religions and especially Christianity is dying in 10 countries. When I was in the Netherlands I had noticed that people were mostly not inclined towards religions and did not engage in discussions about religions. So why is this radical shift happening now? Here is my take on it. Netherlands has a progressive and prosperous society and as they reached the present level of maturity as a society, their tendency to attribute the highs and lows in their lives to external influences must have also decreased. Every religion advises us to live good lives, work hard and become successful and not hurt anyone intentionally. These are basic human values and need not be associated with any religion which is what I observed during my time in the Netherlands. Further and latest endorsement of this is Canada banning all teachings of Christianity from classrooms.
The crux of the matter goes far deeper though. There was no religion called Hinduism till idol worship started in the Kali Yuga as mentioned in ancient Indian texts. None of the Hindu Gods have created Hinduism. Vedas were written to define and streamline the erstwhile society but they do not define Hinduism as claimed by the proponents of Hindutva. Similarly Jesus Christ did not create Christianity and the Church, his followers did. Now here’s the thing. Jesus is referred to as the son of God, so there is God, Jesus and then the Church in Christianity. Jesus never claimed to represent God and neither created a religion called Christianity nor the Church so I believe the Church cannot claim to represent him just like Hindu temples can have idols of Gods but cannot claim to represent any of them. It is a known historical fact that Constantine, the Emperor of Rome integrated the followers of Jesus into Rome and gave shape to what would become a new religion called Christianity. Now the question is, where to put our beliefs. Before Lord Krishna left earth, he had advised that in Kali Yuga, only He can hear people’s prayers so people need to pray to Him. Since Jesus is mentioned as the son of God, praying to him will be the way to reaching out to God. But going by my statement that the Church cannot claim to represent Jesus, is adhering to the diktats of the Church the way or the only way of reaching out to him?
There have been many issues attributed to or plaguing the Church through the course of it’s existence. Thousands of free thinking women were supposedly branded as witches by the Church and burned on the stakes during the Dark Ages, best exemplified by the story of the Joan of Arc. The Church also ignited the Crusades by persuading Britain and France to send their armies to Jerusalem to free the supposedly Holy Land from Muslim rule. Jerusalem was portrayed by the Church as a land flowing with milk and honey but was actually the barren arid land it still is. But the most contentious one I believe in the present times is the rule of confession. The neighborhood around every Church is under the hegemony of the Church’s priest, commonly addressed as father. The fathers are supposed to know everything that is happening in every Christian household under their watch. Done wisely and honestly, this practice amounts to uniting all those families into a community. Treating the father as a mentor and guide and confessing to him about our circumstances and actions, taking his advice and him praying on our behalf are all great practices. But to me, making confessions mandatory is nefarious and not well intended. Religions are never supposed to enforce any rules on its followers. The risk is always there that we could become hostage to our own words in case the father we are confessing to turns rogue. This is exactly what has happened in one of the latest sex abuse scandals to hit the Church. A union minister in the capacity of being a Christian has waded into the issue and is trying to gain consensus to rebuke the attempt by the National Women’s Commission (NCW) to ban the practice of confession in churches (https://thewire.in/women/reject-ncw-recommendations-to-ban-confessions-in-churches-alphons-to-pm). My take here is that the practice of confessions should only be by the free will of people and enforcing it upon them amounts to controlling and enslaving them to the Church which is draconian and law of the Dark Ages and should not be allowed to continue.
I have always felt a sense of vulnerability at young girls and women joining or made to join nunneries under the Church and spending their lives supposedly in the service of God. It places far greater moral virtuosity on the male dominated structure of the Church than is logically comprehensible. Now that this incident of sexual abuse of one nun has come out in the open, the premise opens out that more nuns could have been the prey of sexual abuse for decades or even centuries and they were hushed up and made to suffer silently in the name of Jesus and for the sake of Christianity. Though many serious and satirical movies about the state and affairs of the Church in Kerala have been made in Malayalam, one movie, The Romans, deserves special mention here and is worth a watch.
I am wondering what might Jesus be thinking if he is indeed watching all of what is happening from somewhere. My heart melts at the thought of a poor shepherd who had chosen to teach people to live well, not hurt each other and had died for them and what has got created over the centuries in his name. True followers of Islam have always maintained that none of them can indulge in violence especially against their own kind and the ones who use violence are not followers of Islam. I am inclined to believe this because no human being who prays diligently for 5 times a day can detach himself/herself from the spiritual world and embrace violence. Similarly, the Church can no longer hold on to it’s claim of representing Jesus and continue with it’s orthodox, male dominated structure and let damning incidents such as sexual abuse of women and children happen under it’s umbrella. Every organization and practice needs to be revamped and revised to stay relevant as the society evolves and no religions are exempt from it.

Jesus Christ deserves far better for giving up his life for our sins.

My story of love, despair and nirvana

I believe whatever turmoil is happening in our world are because of two reasons. Love and Death. If all of us understood and found true love and if all of us knew when we would die, our world would be a paradise of peace and harmony. Countless wars have been fought in the name of love, millions have lost their lives without knowing when death was coming for them and still love has remained an elusive mirage. I learnt about both from one person at a very young age and it made me who and how I am.

Everyone who knew my grandfather has told me that there was never a more self centered man than him they have ever come across. It took me a long time to realize why. Anyone who goes through difficult times in his/her childhood would develop a heightened sense of survival instincts, the propensity to survive against all odds and regardless of everyone and everything else. He was an artist by birth, an excellent oil and canvas painter and adept at doing anything because of the genes he inherited from his father who was a palace architect. All artists have a brooding nature and are always marooned in their own worlds. Research says that all of us truly become parents when we become grandparents. I was not his first grandchild but it took the sight of me crying in the hospital cradle to finally invoke his paternal instincts. The first time I called father and mother, my eyes were on my grandfather and grandmother. I didn’t know otherwise.

For 10 years, I got all the love and attention for a lifetime. No one on either sides of the families liked me for being the apple of the eyes of my grandparents. All those years, I didn’t have friends, I never wanted to know or cared about the world because I had everything I wanted in my life at home. Grandpa was 12 years older than grandma. In those times, marriages with large age difference was very common. In his last years, grandpa stopped caring about everything else and would just wait for me to come back from school. When I was at home, he used to eat only from my hand. The last thing he had was his medicine that I gave him before he slipped into his death bed. I had seen cats die at home but the significance of death had never hit me before. For 3 days and nights, I prayed to God to take me with grandpa because I didn’t want him to be alone wherever he goes and I didn’t know life without him. When nothing happened, I started praying to God to take him and end his suffering. On the 7th morning, he left.

It took me all of 6 years to find my mental balance again and I never really recovered from that trauma. The lessons I learned were very bitter. Everyone around me will leave me and go one day, not just through death but for a variety of reasons. I am essentially all alone in this world. Never invest my emotions beyond a point into any relationship. Don’t let anyone in to my space after a point. Life as a recluse is better than life with a broken heart. But through all of this, grandpa had taught me the lesson for life. He had loved me with everything he had, never once holding back. He had nothing to expect from me. I didn’t have anything to give him except myself. He taught me to love without expectations and to love without holding myself back.

I met her when we were both 6 years old. Same school, same batch, different classes and neighbors for some time. Her parents were college lecturers and were staying in a rented house near my house at that time. They used to leave her at my place when they used to go to work. I started waiting for her to come home in the morning and in the evening, I couldn’t see her go back home. I used to run after school to catch a seat for her to sit in the school bus. My mom used to feed both of us together and put us to sleep on the same bed after we came home from school during exams. After 2 years, she left to her own home quite some distance away.

I had started off my school life in kindergarten with flamboyance and as an extrovert but grew quieter as I grew up. Our classrooms kept shifting so I never found the opportunities to go and meet her. I still used to wait for her near the school to give flowers which mom used to send for her. Every time the doorbell at home rang, I used to run and see if it was her. Then grandpa left. Years of mental and emotional struggle followed. I dropped off in studies. The one person left in my mind was her. Dad was having his own struggles with health and no one at home really understood the conflicts I was going through in my mind especially after adolescence hit me. The constant thoughts about her in my mind started taking shape and form.

Adolescence is the time when we get affected with even little influences. I got influenced by music. I started going to her house to see her. I felt no physical attraction towards her. I never once looked at her anywhere other than her face. It was her and nothing else mattered. I had no expectations from her. All I wanted was to be always with her. I couldn’t define what I was feeling for her. In spite of my mind being in a mess, I found my mojo back at the right time. I managed to finish school as a topper. That’s when it struck me. I wouldn’t be able to see her everyday like before. What if someone else started liking her and she started feeling the same for him? Life became a nightmare. I finally conjured up the courage to write whatever was on my mind and go and give it to her.

She never replied. That was the time of no mobile phones, internet and email. Whenever I came across her again, she never came to speak to me. I decided that I wasn’t going to chase her for a response. I thought the best way to do it was the Indian way of asking her hand in marriage through the families. I had to take an year out to prepare for the engineering entrance exam. I passed with flying colors and went to tell her about it. Then reality started hitting me. We were of the same age. Her parents had a late marriage and they would look to get her married off as soon as possible. There was nothing I could do about it. I had no idea how she felt about me and if she had any feelings for me at all. Despair followed. The most overpowering of all that we feel is the feeling of helplessness.

Then something struck me. All I wanted was to be with her and in return I wanted to keep her safe and happy. Even if she was not with me, I would still want her to be safe and happy wherever she is. I didn’t know how else to feel love, if all of this was indeed love. I had to watch my grandpa go helplessly, if I had to do it one more time I would. Couple of years later, I got to know that her marriage was getting fixed. One day, her fiancee’s brother who was my senior in college came and asked me bluntly what my relationship was with her. I wanted to shout on his face who she was to me and throw him down the building. I felt pure burning rage in that instant. I chose to keep quiet and send him away. We were not invited for her marriage. I cried silently in the shower on the morning of the marriage.

My life went downhill after that. Years of financial turmoil at home coupled with my mental and emotional struggles took it’s toll on my body. My lower back gave up on me. I couldn’t walk one fine day. Doctor gave me the choice of surgery and 50% chance of walking after that. I was returning home with my dad by train and for a fleeting moment, I had the urge to jump out of the train. Then commonsense prevailed. If I cannot live for myself I should live for the people who are in my life and those who may need me.

Then I started seeing her in my dreams. Years passed, I started working and I never had the opportunity to think about her. But out of nowhere she would appear in my dreams. For years I used to wake up in the middle of the night and cry alone. When my parents started talking about my marriage, I felt huge resentment at first. Then I started thinking that a life with another woman might help me get off those dreams. I met girls but realized that the love which is prevalent in society is all based on expectations. I tried to fit in and change myself and it only caused me more misery. I realized that I was only trying to fill up the empty spaces in my life.

Through all the trials and tribulations of life, all I wanted was to see her one more time. I managed to get in touch with her best friend in school and got a picture of her. Then the unthinkable happened. After 22 long years, I got the chance to meet her. Her father passed away and I went to her house to pay my respects. Her mother didn’t recognize me but she did instantly. Those were magical moments for me. I felt exactly the same way about her as I always did. Then magically, those dreams vanished. After many days, I saw her in my dream again and I woke up smiling.

I do not know who she is and why she came into my life. If we look closely, everything that happens in our lives are all connected and everything has it’s own meaning in defining our lives and making us who we are. With her, I was not able to find any reason. All I know is that there is a definite connection between us through space and time. In my darkest days in the last few years, I took up wildlife photography and I have become quite good at it now. One day I chanced upon my autograph book from my high school days and this is what she had written to me.

I was at that point in my life when I was contemplating taking my own life when I read this. It feels like life made her write this to protect me in the future. The first question an astrologer asked me after going through my birth chart was “you were supposed to take your own life. How are you still alive?” I have learned to trust life after this one question.

I didn’t know it back then but her astrological star would have matched mine perfectly for Indian style marriage. I do not know if I would find the love I understand again but it doesn’t worry me. I have had to live my life after losing both the people I truly loved. If everything I have experienced about her is true, then I am sure I will meet her in afterlife, just like I am sure my grandpa is waiting for me.

It took me a long time to realize what still hurts me about her. She may have never understood my love for her. I did not even expect her to have the same feelings for me. All I wanted was understanding and acceptance. It was up to her to choose whom she wanted to spend her life with. What I really wanted was a place in her heart, forever. What matters more than having a woman in life is for the man to be in her mind and thoughts. What hurts and will hurt forever is that she left without talking to me even once. If what I felt for her is true, she will realize it some day and that is all I need.

What ails India’s IT bellwether behemoth

There was a time, till not so long ago when a job at Infosys used to be a crucial factor in arranging marriages in India. The enormity of influence Infosys used to have over the Indian job market has parallels with Siemens in Germany. I have heard of small towns in Germany with an office of Siemens and one or more people from every house in the town working there. A job in the Indian IT sector was at one time the aspiration of every graduate but when it came to marriage, a job at Infosys would add brownie points and with a very good reason. Infosys has been the public sector company in India’s private sector. Job security at Infosys has been the differentiating factor from other IT companies. Add to this their policy of hiring spouses that was borderline outrageous. Employees were easily able to onboard their spouses to Infosys and if one such employee got the opportunity to work from a client’s location abroad Infosys would figure out a way to find a similar assignment for the employee’s spouse at the same location and send them both together. But the company has become a pale shadow of those glory days because of internal factors and external influences.

During my MBA program, I came across a case study about how Infosys, in 2004 had developed strategies to evaluate and figure out the best road to the future. One of them was investing into the infrastructure in India which they did not pursue ultimately. While I admit that the Indian ecosystem is extremely complicated right from acquiring land to bureaucratic red tape to political and religious influences, Infosys, with it’s enormous influence over the society as a whole could have had easily negated every obstacle. The strategy they chose was to focus on expanding their clientele abroad. I believe this choice was made with the sole purpose of increasing their earnings because of the value difference in the Rupee and the currencies of western countries. There were two major issues here. After a point in the lifeline, be it that of an individual or a corporate company, influence and the ability to get things done takes or should take precedence over money and wealth. Infosys caters to clients in retail, manufacturing and other sectors abroad and all such companies are in India also. In 2004 they were poised perfectly to bring the entire Indian corporate sector under their hegemony. Secondly, sitting on a mountain of profits with no debt makes any company vulnerable for a takeover bid by another company. No debts and a huge list of clients abroad are enough mouthwatering prospects to go on a takeover offensive.

The company’s woes in the last few years have been created by two factors. The first one is with the blatant misuse of the US H1B visas. Infosys reportedly has more than 80% of their clientele in the US. The H1B visa ecosystem has been created for US multinational companies to recruit and take bright minds and experienced people from foreign countries to work in the US. But Indian companies, right from the heavyweights like Infosys to small recruiting consultants have found ways to bend and bypass the visa rules. Hogging the H1B visas and eating away the job market in a foreign country by replacing local people with people exported from another country on lower pay scale was never going to be a sustainable business strategy. The powerful Indian lobby in the US had barricaded any investigation into the H1B visa usage by Indian MNCs for a long time but some day the skeletons were all going to tumble out of the cupboard which is what happened with the ascent of Donald Trump into presidency.

The second and the more critical factor that has brought Infosys down from grace has been it’s management of employees. A very good friend of mine is a senior project manager at Infosys and we have had numerous discussions about the work he is doing and about the management in particular. There is one profound aspect about Infosys that distinguishes it from all other IT companies. For the longest time, the founding partners of the company had taken turns to occupy the CEO’s chair and be at the helm of affairs, thereby fostering a very unique corporate culture. Once their terms ended, there was no one else within Infosys to take their place. Did they not understand the enormity of the corporate culture they had created and because of this, did they forget to set in motion the wheels of inheritance? After everything that has been happening, maybe not. Instead of promoting their employees into the top management, like other IT MNCs, they started hiring executives from other companies. These external hires are undoubtedly experienced and seasoned players, but question is, how many years of experience with Infosys do they have to be at it’s helm of affairs? None. Their initial impressions about the company are formed by the opinions and words of the people at Infosys they interact with when they join which usually makes them skewed in any one direction rather than being balanced in their comprehension. This is usually the case in all companies but the unique culture of Infosys has become the stumbling block.

Above all of these, I believe one aspect of the company could threaten it’s very existence. They have changed their business and organizational strategies to remain competitive in the market and have been restructuring their work flow hierarchy but with a critical deficiency. They seem to be clueless about identifying the right stakeholders within the organization, the most critical aspect of Kotter’s 8 steps of transformation. My friend has been with Infosys for about 15 years now and never has he been asked or consulted about changes in company strategies. Now why should a manager know about changes in company strategies? Because project management is essentially the management of the execution of business strategies. Projects are after all born from business strategies. He has been working on projects of a particular domain for a very long time so I asked him how much does he know about what Infosys is doing in that domain. He said 70%. So I asked him does that much knowledge help him to understand the deficiencies and help create better strategies in that domain. He said yes. Stakeholders need not be executives, directors or even managers. Even a team member can be a stakeholder if he/she has enough influence in the team to understand deficiencies and drive changes. Stakeholders have to be identified from ground up because all of them can provide critical information from their levels. All of this information has to flow up and become the most important aspect of developing the organizational and business strategies. The fallout of what has been happening is immensely disturbing. Employees at all levels are feeling uncertain about their future in the company which could kickstart increasing employee attrition and the propensity among IT employees to stay away from the company.

It is becoming very clear that Infosys is no longer sure about it’s road ahead. They hired an assertive Vishal Sikka as the CEO who had an ambitious agenda backed by mighty plans. Then the fallout with Narayan Murthy and the spat in full public view ensued which has caused immense damage to the company’s reputation and more importantly shaken the company’s confidence in itself. They seem to have realized their mistake but instead of finding someone with the right balance, they have brought in Salil Parekh who seems to be on the opposite polarity of Sikka. My friend was telling me that it’s been more than 6 months since Salil has become the CEO but he is yet to address the employees, explain what has been happening, what would be the road ahead and try to calm their uneasiness and uncertainty. Not even by an email. When communication flow from top management to the base of the company pyramid stops, it means only one thing. Everyone at the top are fighting their own battles and are trying to save their own skins.

My friend has been helplessly watching his career growth stagnate over the years. At the level of his immediate manager he says there are people with 25 years of experience. Most of them seems to have reconciled with their life at Infosys because they have family responsibilities, loans, etc and have become totally risk averse. The company seems to have piled on a bloated middle management, an obese company midriff. It is very evident that Infosys does not know what to do with them. What is saddening is, Infosys will never know what these people might be capable of and what they can do to transform the company. There is only one strategy for mature organizations to follow. Empower and transform their employees, let them grow and simply ask them. They will know how and where to take the company ahead.