My take on why women are from Venus……..

This is going to stir a few feathers. I can’t help but laugh whenever I hear women are from Venus. For me, this shows the deep rooted “no understanding” of women among men. I read an interesting article about a research that was taken up to find out what colors men and women identify the most. Men picked sky blue and ocean green and women chose red, pink and orange. The explanation that the research team gave was that, when we were living in caves, men used to go out to hunt, fish and find wood. What they observed the most was the sky for clear weather and at the water. Women used to pick fruits and make food. So what am I driving at?

Men had to go out and make decisions on which their lives depended. So men developed analytical skills which women never had to. Men love to answer in yes or no. This has grown to such levels that I am learning a consulting methodology wherein I have to analyze situations or problems by creating a “Question Tree” in which the answers to all the questions have to be “Yes” to find the solutions. Women never answer in yes or no because their thought processes are driven by emotions. Women always need time to “hang around” with their men. But men are used to giving their best to what they do outside their homes, be it hunting or be it a business meeting. So they don’t have the patience to “hang around” with their women. Come on folks, we evolved. It’s in our genes.

Women mature much faster than men. Maybe that’s why in India, men are made to marry women who are 6-7 years younger. Men start becoming socially and financially stable by the time they are 30 years old. That’s when they start seeing women beyond their physical needs. Women mature out to handle men by the time they are 23 years old. I know women will resent this, but ask yourselves. This is not about getting a woman used to a man, it is the other way around. A man is capable of fulfilling only 10% of his life by himself. For the 90%, he needs a woman.

I do not blame women for demanding equal rights as men and going out to explore the world. Because of the way men are, women have a deep rooted distrust about all men. This is all about “if you can, I too can”. All a woman needs is a sensible guy who is committed to her. It takes a lot of effort and time to convince a woman, but that’s what she expects from her man. Women have been driven to fulfill men’s different needs from time immemorial. In ancient times, girls from lower castes in India had to become “devdasis” to serve men’s physical needs so that upper class girls were safe from men’s prying eyes. How can men expect women to trust them after being persecuted and used to such levels for so long and which continues in different ways even now?

All of us are emotional and my take is that men developed analytical skills on top of their emotions. So it is upto them to come down to the emotional level rather than expect women to go up. It never happens that a man finds a woman, it’s the woman who always finds her man. So men, if you find your woman, don’t hesitate, stay with her and put your best efforts on her. Respect the fact that you have someone to go back to and that someone is waiting for you. The most important and the most wonderful thing we find in life is love and it’s amazing to love and be loved.

Life with grandpa and granny

I keep hearing about how my grandpa was so self centred all his life and one incident turned his world upside down. He went to the hospital one day to see his son’s new born baby and when he saw the baby, he mocked at him and asked, “Do you want to smoke like your father?” The baby, who was crying till then, looked at him and gave him the smile of his life. That baby grew up to be me. I grew up in those heavenly hands of my grandpa and granny. They were father and mother to me and that is how it will be all my life.

People back home still remember how I used to cling to grandpa’s hands and go for walks. Grandpa was one big piece of raw, unadulterated talent. He had to face very difficult times before coming up in life, maybe that’s why he became a tough bloke to deal with. I know I would have done much much better in life if I had got even a small piece of his abilities. I couldn’t imbibe his best skill, to paint. He lost his eye sight to cataract when I was 3 years old. He left this world a few days shy of my 10th birthday, leaving a huge crater in my life.

Granny was tough, more tougher than it can ever get for me. For her, everything was her way or the highway. I wasn’t allowed to play cricket in school because I could get struck by the ball. That was her. I had to be at home before 7 in the evening no matter what. I am so used to it that I try to reach wherever I stay before 7 even now. No late nights for me, not even an evening movie, period. I used to get bashed up if I had to stay late in college. She used to call me up when I was in office and tell me she wasn’t feeling well and she wanted me to be with her. Problem was, I was more than 500 kms away from her and I had to travel a night by bus to reach her and that’s what I had to do. When I told her about my first opportunity to go abroad, what came out was tears from her eyes and it was pretty much easy for me to decide after that. Maybe it’s the hand of life that made me resign my job, go back to her and be with her in her last days. The best lessons I have learned by being with her is to never take anyone or anything for granted and always treat women with respect.

I have never understood why they loved me so much. The logical explanation is that parents never get to love their children properly, so they shower all their love on their grandchildren. Maybe I am blessed. Whatever be the reason, I got all the love I need to live out this life. Anything more from anywhere else is bonus for me. Grandpa is the biggest mountain for me to climb, I know I will never reach those heights, but I am trying to my best to go up. What I am missing the most these days is the smile on my granny’s face when she sees me. Maybe I will see them again, no one knows what afterlife is.

Life in the Orient……till now…….

The moment I chose to do MBA in Shanghai, something inside me changed. Two visits to Europe had prepared me mentally well enough for a life either in the US or Europe. But when some really important people told me to pick Shanghai, it was quite a tremor for me. The lead up to reaching Shanghai was quite exhausting, so I couldn’t really have any self appreciation for my achievement of getting admission for the MBA. The fact that my college was starting off their campus in Shanghai and it was their first year kept tickling my nerves. I kept thinking that I was going to be part of either something special or a disaster.

My first meal with the chopsticks is something to remember. The first thought that came to my mind is, damn I will die of hunger here. Even though the college has staff from the Orient, they work the American way. The Director is a superb guy, my age, MBA graduate from my college, open to conversations and most importantly, being Taiwanese, he knows how to get things done in this part of the world. What astounded me was, the class strength was 81. I was expecting 50. It was like a small crowd in a shopping mall for me. 81 people from 40 countries….a medium sized United Nations conference.

Life in the college kicked off with a 5 day outdoor team building activities. We were told that we were being taken out of our comfort zones in life and how they managed to do that. Team competitions that stretched everyone’s physical and mental abilities to the limit, an amazing gorge walk and a raft building competition to round off everything. To add to all this was the food that was served to us. Sheep’s eyes, duck’s tongue, turtle and I do not know what else. I was almost hungry for the 5 days and I was drawing from my reserves to keep myself going.

Back to campus and all the tiredness got onto me. I started falling sick almost everyday. Adding to that was some tough subjects in class to deal with. I kept leading a strict life by cooking my food and not trying to do anything fancy. Life got better eventually even though it was becoming winter with each passing day. Probably the best thing to have happened is the amazing photographs I have been able to take till now.

I have survived 3 months of MBA, a new country and cold climate. MBA has been a 14 year old dream and the dream wasn’t this big then. I am still amazed at how I got enough strength to hold on to it for all those years and how my life is filled with enough people to motivate me. It is a lesson for me to last a life time, that we can achieve anything in life with patience and perseverence. I am getting to know some amazing people here, both inside and outside the classroom. A new year has just started off, a year which holds a lot of promise, a year to look forward to. Another 8 months to go before MBA gets over. I am following the “Go with the flow” and “Keep it simple stupid” principles, so I am hoping that life treats me fair and square in the times to come.